I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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