What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Gay?
German.
Pity.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
