My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
