When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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