Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
