i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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