i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
