And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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