I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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