she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
