You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
