Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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