I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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