quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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