So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
