I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize