I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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