I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize