He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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