I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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