hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
