she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
