i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
