i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
