he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
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Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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