You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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