Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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