He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
