Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
