i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
