If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
