Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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