i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
