Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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