Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
