And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
