I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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