IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
