Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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