was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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