My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
