Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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