my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
