It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
