I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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