Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
