Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
