I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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