I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
