I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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