sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize