def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
