I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
