i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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