um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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