I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
