I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
