I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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