They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
